Mind, Stop!

I got to spend the day with a very dear friend of mine. We are both going through a very tumultuous time in our lives, though each of us is experiencing very different things. We got to talk a lot about how our experiences affect us. The thing that I found most fascinating is what we make those experiences mean.

It's so easy, when going through deep or troubling times to be out of it: less aware of others maybe, more focused on self, more processing, maybe there are hitherto unknown depths of sadness or messed-up-ness that we're working through, maybe we can't always think, or maybe lethargy is limiting our ability to participate in life like we used to.

Whatever it is that we are experiencing, for me the real question is "What am I making that mean?" And since I know myself very well, I also know that for me to allow whatever I am making it mean to take over, is like condemning myself to the worst possible torture. For example, just because I am feeling deep grief, sadness and with it lethargy, does not necessarily mean that I am a lazy sod. If I am able to let go of the story long enough, I can also see that I am recovering from surgery, very tired and have mountains of responsibilities I am having trouble managing. There's nothing lazy about that. And yet, if I let my mind have it's way, I would be well on my way to believing that I am the worst possibly lazy butt in the entire universe. What?!?!

That's just one teensy tiny example! How many more stories can I spin? Well, as a matter of fact, I can spin thousands, probably millions, at the wink of an eye. And why would i want to do that to myself.

No, no, no, no. What becomes important for me is doing whatever it takes to stop the mind from it's reign of terror inducing storytelling. The main and most important thing you are doing is stopping the self-flagellation that is inherent when the stories start spinning. Mind, stop!!! Because those stories are the ones that make us feel less-than, worse than, bad, awful, unworthy and unlovable creatures. Just do whatever it takes.

Mantra works for this. Meditation works for this. Walking, synchronized movement, dancing, writing...it seems like there are many. Only problem is that when I am feeling down, sad, grief-stricken, lethargic or just plain tired, I can't always rally the energy for any of those more traditional paths to quieting the mind. Then again, years of practice have made it possible to at least recognize the state of mindlessness, the state of stopping the mind from its incessant prattling, the state of letting go of the story and the storytelling.

I think - just do whatever it takes to stop the mind from fabricating stories, and especially stop it from fabricating stories that make you out to be the worst villain ever. It doesn't matter if that looks like "wasting time," "avoidance," or dillydallying around. If it's watching marathons, reading entire libraries, playing solitaire (or Freecell!), coloring, or walking for miles, it doesn't really matter. The only thing that matters is that the story has no ground beneath it and can't stand on its own two feet.

Mind, stop! Let the story go.

Later, when things pass, as all things do, and you have the space to look back, then you will not need to look back on how desperately you beat yourself up for basically BEING HUMAN - having feelings, making mistakes, doing goofy things, not understanding something, misinterpreting a situation, badly judging your ability, or whatever it is. It's just a moment and this moment will pass.

Beating yourself up is such an ugly thing to look back on and it is so unnecessary, and at the same time it is very, very normal. We all do it in one way or another, make ourselves out to be 'less than' just because we experience something that is hard to deal with. It's not necessary. By choosing to stop the mind from its rambling, you can step away from those stories of horror and incompetence at life and shift into a state of relative neutrality.

Stop the mind. Give yourself a break today. You deserve it!!

Blessings.
Darshan



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